Dr. Monique –
I finally am able to write about what started the weekend of your Camping workshop, last October, 2008. I was feeling so spiritually constipated about that time. I knew I was “in process”, back then, but in what areas, I had no clue. I recognized that I was in the throes of the “process of change”,……deep in……, but what that change was about, I had no clue.
What I knew, was that I felt like a snake shedding its skin, or a caterpillar coming out of it’s cocoon, shedding its body. I was also going into “hermit mode “, staying away from people and situations that were part of my current life. I was being internal, not external in my focus. This is something that I had always thought about, something that I wanted to do, always, but always seemed to be put into the “I’ll do it later pile”. The result is that the procrastination in my life was overwhelming me. “What is this about?”, I was constantly asking myself.
I seem to have spent my life dealing with other people’s agendas, my daughter’s, my family’s , my man’s, my employer’s, my friends, my religious organization’s agenda, and on…..and on. What I was sure of, at that point, was that I recognized all of that in myself, the giving myself away to everyone and everything else, but me.
I think becoming a Mom, at 20 years old, caused me to follow the path of other peoples issues, but I had come to not care about the causes (the past), I just wanted/needed to move forward (the future). I was ready to follow a truly unknown path, for me, for the first time in my adult life, I realized that this path, was about me claiming my unique potential in this lifetime.
This path is about LEGACY. This path is about THE TRUE PURSUIT OF MY LIFE’S PURPOSE. None of this, did I realize, when I left to go on Monique’s retreat. Of course, the whole idea to go on the retreat, came to me mystically. That is why I decided to go. The decision was intuitively made, and I was able to recognize, that this is where I needed to go. I knew I was at a turning point and I was opened , fully aware, and ready to accept the magnitude of the weekend in front of me. I made myself go “vanilla”, that is, no preconceived notions, no biases in place, no barriers allowed hiding anything. The weather turned to rain, I adjusted , by buying cot, to keep me off the ground (no moisture for me!) and joyfully headed out to the camping retreat.
That is when I started to realize that this was about me. I realized that I now had the opportunity to fully reach my potential, my reason for living this particular lifetime is now immediately before me. There is no other project that needs to be completed. This is the project that is before me, right now. To be drawn toward the modalities that are Monique’s special gift is part of the gifts that the universe bestows upon you when you are ready. That weekend,…… the adventure of it,…. the camaraderie with the women, who were each were the universe’s gift to me, ……….the spiritually supportive environment that Monique (and her wonderful family) provided,……….. the opportunity to commune with nature, ……all of the relevant information conveyed to us in such a low-key manner. All of these factors, and more, are part of that magically transformative weekend in October of 2008. I so look forward to going back to the “spot” and the cocoon of deep, loving support that is uniquely Monique.
My future is spiritually exciting for me now.
Monique, I can’t thank you enough.
Pat Bolden,
Recent participant in your Camping Retreat
Bookkeeping Consultant
